Too Dependent.

Ladies I’m sorry, but I just cannot grasp the idea of NEEDING a boyfriend. Those girls who are obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend are slowly driving me insane. It’s one thing if you’re crazy about someone and want them to yours, but to have no one in particular in mind and feel that you need a boyfriend is just plain stupid. That concept is just beyond me.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, love is awesome and all that jazz, but you should be able to function properly without someone else. Only once you are fully independent and satisfied with yourself, can you have something positive to contribute to someone else. I think most girls feel that a boyfriend will make them more confident and content with themselves, which is true. Of course having someone love you and want to be with you will make you feel confident, but you have to have a little bit of confidence to begin with to even attract someone to you. And don’t worry, I am no hypocrite. Before I was in a relationship, the only time I wanted a boyfriend was when I was completely into a specific person.

A close friend is exactly the person who needs to randomly stumble upon this post. She is so insecure with herself and feels that having a guy will completely cure that. I just want to shake her! I can assure you, no guy wants to have to convince you every single day that you look good. It’s understandable every once in awhile. Everyone has those days where they feel fat or their hair looks weird, but those days shouldn’t come every day. I feel like there is no getting through to girls (or guys) that are like this. Believe me I’ve tried. So instead, I rant. (;

Ps. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, etc!

xo

In A Hurry.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like everything is happening to slowly. Like I’ll never accomplish the basic things I want right now. I try my best to take the necessary steps towards these wishes, but always seems to come up short.

For example, I want my license. The first time I went to the DMV they needed my original birth certificate, therefore causing me to reschedule. The next time I go, ALL of California’s DMVs’ systems have crashed. Like, how often does THAT happen? Then, I finally go, get my picture taken, take the test, and miss two too many. This is getting so frustrating especially when I start thinking about how even once I have my permit, I have to go back and pass the actual driving test. If by some miracle I pass that I still have to find a car I like and can afford.

I’d also like to be able to move out sometime in the very near future, but saving money seems damn near impossible. I work about four to five days a week for about four to six hours each shift. Although I get tips on top of my minimum wage, it just doesn’t even seem plausible for me to be able to afford even the cheapest rent. I’d like to find random side jobs to earn some extra money to put away, but that leads me back to the driving issue. I have enough trouble finding rides to work as it is without adding another job to the equation.

Christmas is coming up and I have a great gift idea for my boyfriend, but I’m starting to doubt that I’ll have the money in time to get it for him. If I did get the money, I’m afraid I won’t be able to afford gifts for anyone else. Ugh. I think this time of year is just stressful in general. It’s a shame that Christmas has turned into a time for chaotic shopping and maxed out credit cards. What happened to it just meaning cheerful people, good food, and just being around the people who matter most to you?

I’d really just like to sleep right now, but there are too many stressful thoughts bouncing around my head. And here comes a headache. Wonderful.

Sorry to stress you guys out.. haha. Goodnight!

xo