Homesick.

It’s so weird. I’ve never actually gotten homesick before, but now I find myself feeling more alone than ever. I just arrived in Florida a little under four hours ago and I’ve already broken down twice. One is happening as I type this, actually. I know I must sound like a spoiled brat. “Oh poor me. I’m stuck on this all expense paid family vacation to Disney World. Wah wah wah.” And I really am appreciative and super stoked that I’m here. Today has just been so incredibly stressful that it has put me over the edge.

I’m so emotional lately. I hate it. Here I am, just four hours before I need to wake up, bawling my eyes out. And why? I don’t completely know. I’m over sensitive right now and getting irritated with my boyfriend. I hate not having him here to comfort me and we’ve never been this far apart, or just apart in general for so long. There’s so much space in the condo we’re staying at that it frustrates me he couldn’t be here with me. My family stresses me out and I could really use one piece of sanity with me on this trip.

I guess I should get over it and do my best to sleep.. I’ve got a long week ahead of me.

xo

In A Hurry.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like everything is happening to slowly. Like I’ll never accomplish the basic things I want right now. I try my best to take the necessary steps towards these wishes, but always seems to come up short.

For example, I want my license. The first time I went to the DMV they needed my original birth certificate, therefore causing me to reschedule. The next time I go, ALL of California’s DMVs’ systems have crashed. Like, how often does THAT happen? Then, I finally go, get my picture taken, take the test, and miss two too many. This is getting so frustrating especially when I start thinking about how even once I have my permit, I have to go back and pass the actual driving test. If by some miracle I pass that I still have to find a car I like and can afford.

I’d also like to be able to move out sometime in the very near future, but saving money seems damn near impossible. I work about four to five days a week for about four to six hours each shift. Although I get tips on top of my minimum wage, it just doesn’t even seem plausible for me to be able to afford even the cheapest rent. I’d like to find random side jobs to earn some extra money to put away, but that leads me back to the driving issue. I have enough trouble finding rides to work as it is without adding another job to the equation.

Christmas is coming up and I have a great gift idea for my boyfriend, but I’m starting to doubt that I’ll have the money in time to get it for him. If I did get the money, I’m afraid I won’t be able to afford gifts for anyone else. Ugh. I think this time of year is just stressful in general. It’s a shame that Christmas has turned into a time for chaotic shopping and maxed out credit cards. What happened to it just meaning cheerful people, good food, and just being around the people who matter most to you?

I’d really just like to sleep right now, but there are too many stressful thoughts bouncing around my head. And here comes a headache. Wonderful.

Sorry to stress you guys out.. haha. Goodnight!

xo

Thanksgiving.

Hey all!
Wow, it’s been awhile. Sorry about that. I’m currently on my way back from San Diego. I broke a personal tradition today and spent Thanksgiving with my boyfriend’s family instead of my own. I guess it’s growing up though. Plus, this way he has to come to my family’s Christmas which is way better than Thanksgiving, in my opinion. At least, at my grandma’s house it is.

Today was awesome though. There was so much delicious food. I tried yams for my first time and I have to admit they were probably my favorite thing I had today. I’ve also discovered that I’m a true wine-o at heart. I can’t wait to be seventy years old, drinking red wine in a hot bath everyday.

Although, I didn’t get to spend today with my family, I still felt extremely welcomed and it was like I was amongst family. I’m so thankful for that, for my family, for my friends, for my loving boyfriend, and just for my life in general. I’m also pretty stoked for leftovers! I hope you all had a good one! Til next time.
xo

Vegas.

Guess who just got back from a magnificent weekend in Sin City! Yep, it was me! It was a last minute thing, but of course, I made arrangements with work and got my butt down there. My boyfriend’s dad had a work party there, so they rented out the Marquee club at the Cosmopolitan. We stayed in an amazing room on the 57th floor of the Cosmo where we had the most beautiful view all day and all night.

Coincidentally, a group of our friends were also in Vegas and staying at the Cosmo, so we were super excited. We became even more excited when we found out they were staying in the penthouse suite on the very top floor. It was a friend’s birthday, a friend who is pretty well off, and he had reserved a wrap-around suite. Upon checking in they apologized and said they had accidentally booked the extra room he requested, so they gave him the penthouse to make up for it. It was INSANE! The room was huge, and completely gorgeous.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get into the Marquee for the party since I’m under 21, so I just partied in the penthouse with my friends, which worked for me. We explored the Chandelier Bar which is what the Cosmopolitan is famous for. The chandelier is three stories high with a bar inside. I loved it. The second night, we went out to dinner with my boyfriend’s dad and his coworkers. We went to this crazy nice sushi place called Social House. I’m not a big sushi fan, and just an overall picky eater, so I ordered teriyaki chicken just to be safe. I took a few chances and tasted a couple rolls and random dishes, but overall stuck to my chicken and some kobi beef tacos. Oh, and the desserts. The desserts alone are worth going to this place, if you have the cash, that is. Our bill was over $600 for eight people.. Thank God dinner was on Mikey’s dad and his associate.

After that Mikey and I became an old married couple, and headed to the room for a couple drinks and some TV. The night before and the long day had completely burnt us out. Our trip was such a blast. I miss Vegas already. Although, I am happy to be back at home, relaxing in my bed.

xo

Conan.

Wow, today was nothing short of exhausting. I woke up at 7am, and in case you didn’t know, this is incredibly early for me. If it were up to me I’d sleep until at least 11:30 everyday, but unfortunately, that’s not always an option. My favorite band is All Time Low. I know, it’s a bit embarrassing, but I’ve been a fan as long as they’ve been a signed band, so I don’t care. Anywho, they were on the Conan O’Brien show tonight. (Check it out & look for me!)

Olivia, with whom I go to almost every show, and I decided it was necessary to leave at 8am since it’s in LA and we had to be there before 10. Oh, the things we do for those boys sometimes.. So, we trekked out there and discovered we would definitely be getting tickets to the show since there were only four other fans waiting.

Once we got out standby tickets, we decided to get some breakfast and coffee in our systems. We also got some shopping done and I found the shoes I need for my Halloween costume, so I feel pretty productive. After killing two hours, we returned to the studio and waited one more hour before being escorted inside.

We had pretty decent seats and also were able to see interviews with Tom Selluck and Julianne Hough which was pretty cool. Finally, what we waited all day for, All Time Low took the stage and did their thang. All in all, it was worth it. I passed out on the ride home having only had five hours of sleep the night before. Once home, I was forced to do two hours of homework, and now I am finally ready to call it a night.

I wish my stress was over the second this blog is, but unfortunately, I have a nonstop day tomorrow as well. I have to wake up an hour earlier than I usually would to do more homework, then it’s straight to a hair appointment (I know, poor me). From the salon, I’m going straight to school to take a quiz and then I have to study for a final. And then FINALLY I can pack for Vegas and relax all weekend with my boyfriend and his parents, which totally makes all this stress worth it. I’ll let y’all know how it goes.

Goodnight!

20.

Well, I haven’t been to great at keeping up with this lil’ page here, so let me fill you in.

I am officially twenty years old. The 28th of September is my birthday, so I’ve almost been twenty for a month! I’ve almost been twenty for a month, and yet, I still said I was nineteen today. I can’t get used to it. Anywho, I had a white trash themed birthday party, and I must say it was ridiculously awesome. A lot of my friends got pretty into it and I had an amazing time. As you will see below, one of my best friends magically became impregnated and the other joined the KKK.

I’d just like to take a moment

I’d like to take a moment to say how truly grateful I am for the people in my life. I’ve been sick in bed all day, thinking about the past couple of weeks and how great they have been. I have the most amazing friends that anyone could ask for. I know, everyone says this about their friends, but it couldn’t be anymore true when it comes to mine. They are always there when I need them, regardless of how long it’s been since our last conversation. Recently, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know a few friends a little better and I love it. I love getting to know people on a whole new level. I love having more people that I can trust and confide in. Thank you all.

I’ll keep this short

Last night, I got into an argument with a good friend. None of this would’ve happened had she been sober. She becomes so unreasonable and contradicts herself constantly. It’s impossible to win with her when she’s in this state, unless you’re also trashed and just want to act like a fool with her. I was drinking, but was nowhere near her level, so when she started reaching this level of ridiculousness, I’m not one to play along. She’s been a close friend for years, so I’ve gotten over sugarcoating things for her. We have a love/hate type of friendship. Anywho, last night I refused to play along with whatever game she was playing, which led to her getting heated and saying some rude things. At that point, I went home. There was no way I could spend the rest of my night with her. Both of our other friends who were there were also getting sick of her nonsense, but neither felt comfortable enough to say anything.

So my point is, if people don’t like you when you’re drunk, don’t drink. If you can’t have a few drinks with friends without the high school type drama creeping in, don’t drink. I understand that my friend, and others, feel uncomfortable in certain situations when they don’t have their liquid courage, but I’d much rather be the insecure girl in the corner without a drink than the hammered girl, slurring her words with throw up in her hair.

My quiet place

Hello all (or probably no one)!

I decided to create this page to serve as a place where I can say anything I want without the fear of being questioned or judged. I originally started my tumblr to do just that, but with that site’s growing popularity, my friends soon joined and crashed my private party. I am hoping to use this to rant when I want to, express my excitement when needed, and just to let myself go.

In case anyone is actually reading this, let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Jordan, although I’m sure that’s pretty obvious by the name of my page. I’ll be twenty years old in just two days. I’m currently a student at a community college in Huntington Beach, working to transfer to a four year to eventually pursue a psychology degree. I have a part-time job as a hostess at Outback Steakhouse. I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I have been with for a little over a year now. I have a younger brother and sister. My parents are separated, and have been for, basically, all of my life. I live with my mom and visit my dad, brother and sister as much as I can. It gets tough with school and work. The fact that they live an hour away and my lack of a driver’s license doesn’t help much either.

No, you are not mistaken. I’m nearly twenty years old and don’t have my license. I’m a huge procrastinator and my friends drive everywhere, so I’ve never had the extreme need for one, besides the occasional urge to just get out of my house. It is becoming something I’d really like to have though. I find everything is just more inconvenient for me because of it, and I actually went  to get my permit today. Unfortunately, the DMV is a pain in the ass and doesn’t accept copies of anything, so I need to get my original birth certificate and try again. But hey, the effort was there.

I love music more than pretty much anything else. I try and go to as many concerts/music award type events as I can. When I was still in high school, and my parents would pay for my tickets, I definitely went to about five times the amount of concerts I go to now, but I make sure the ones I do go to count. I am, without a doubt, a cat person. I have the fattest, fluffiest cat ever and I love him to death. My friends are my family. I love them to death and am so incredibly grateful to have their support in whatever I do. Hmmm, what else? My obsessions include: John Mayer, Gossip Girl, peanut m&m’s, All Time Low and Matt Damon. Jason Bourne is my dream man.

That’s pretty much me in a nutshell. I want to try and stay consistent with this page, but I have trouble writing on command, so no promises!

xo